Yesterday I was on the phone with Fastweb, a broadband provider in Italy, when I heard what has to be the strangest hold music ever.

Sort of a light, inoffensive, jazzy easy listening adult contemporary boredom piece typical of hold music, but with a twist – the song had a voice over that kept repeating, in English – and I kid you not:

“Global controls will have to be imposed, and a world governing body will be created to enforce them.”

Pretty weird hold music if you ask me… “easy listening for the contemporary illuminatus”?

Unfortunately it seems that the “global controls” had already been imposed on the fastweb operators themselves, as no one had answered my call after 30 minutes of waiting (while I was running a bit late for work, nonetheless!). My only hope is that as part of their controls’ enforcement, they’re performing body cavity searches on the management…